The White Boy Price in the Land of Bakshish

Back in America we’re so used to things being “politically correct” and “non-racist”. Double standards do exist of course, but not like they do here in the Middle East. I was told in a restaurant that the Chinese Buffet was only for Chinese Customers. Apparently the buffet food was too good for my American blood. This concept was brought to my front door when our land lord messenger man came to collect the monthly rent on Tuesday. After exchanging the appropriate amount of cash, the messenger asked me if I had any problems or questions with our apartment. I explained to him that I had just acquired a TV satellite receiver from some friends of ours who had just moved back to the states. I wanted to know if our building received satellite TV reception from off the roof. Almost all apartment buildings in Maadi have this so I assumed we weren’t an exception. He told me that not only do we have regular Egyptian satellite BUT we also have European satellite too. He said he would be happy to install it for me.

So I agreed. He was a nice guy and I so I figured he would just install it free of charge. After looking at a few things he determined that he need to go buy a special cable to connect from our receiver into the back of our very old tv. When he returned my Egyptian neighbor came over and I mentioned that we were getting our satellite hocked up. I asked my neighbor to ask the guy (in Arabic) how much he was planning on charging me for all this. The guy replied 200 L.E. (That’s about $40) My neighbor flipped and said that he had angered me with such a large service charge. I was quite shocked at my future bill. 200 L.E. could buy you a lot in Egypt. But I was being charged what I like to call “The White Boy Price”. Americans get a special price here in Egypt.

Right after my neighbor told the guy that I was now upset with him for wanting 200 L.E. he became very apologetic. He suddenly became very embarrassed and apologized. I agreed to pay him back 30 L.E. for the wire he bought and 20 L.E. for the work he had to do on the roof. He was happy with 50 L.E. I imagine he would have been ok leaving my apartment with nothing after seeing him so embarrassed.

Egyptians really like to charge you for anything they can. We went to Saqqara last week and this old man wanted me pay him before I left one of the old Egyptian tombs. Usually if they are nice I’ll give them their Bakshish (tip) but this guy wanted money for doing nothing. It was like his job was to stand at the exit of the building and asking for money as you leave. He followed me out of the tomb pestering me for money. But as usual I ignored the guy, pretending they’re not there and then he left.

God Bless America; The land where you don’t have to pay to use the bathroom or to use toilet paper. Last week we were at the Khan al Khalili market in Cairo. And the funny thing is, is that your body always seems to pick the worst possible time to have to use the bathroom. As I’m with my wife looking at jewelry and Arabic calligraphy from a guy who may or may not be affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood I had that familiar feeling of needing to use the bathroom. And it wasn’t one of those feelings where you know that if you wait, maybe hold out, you might buy yourself some time to get to the safety of your house… but no. This feeling was the one where all you can think about getting to the jon NOW. So after seeing and turning down some toilets that might have been installed around the time Christ was living in Egypt, which by the way were just holes in the ground. I was taken to one that actually had seats. But with no surprise to me there was no paper. After summoning a Khan employee I had a huge box of tissues at my disposal. But of course I had to pay for the tissues. I gave the guy 5 L.E. ($1). Can you put a price on clean underwear? I know I can’t. Because I know that if I didn’t get to that bathroom in time that’s what it might have come down to.

So if you come to Egypt to visit, bring a little extra money for Baksish. And don’t be surprised if you get charged the “White Boy Price”.